Wednesday, March 26, 2014

An Elephant's Memory

An Elephant's Memory - Jina Wallwork

I remember counting down the seconds before every meeting. Her smile would cause my emotions to dance and I felt truly happy. It was the kind of happiness that I believed only existed within the echoes of fairy tales, but I came to discover the truth of its existence. The ecstasy was beyond anything I have ever experienced and within my thoughts it exists as a lost piece of perfection.

I declared my love and I watched as my words cut away the friendship that had brought me such joy. She responded by creating the distance that has now come to define me. I feel regret, because I can travel into my memories and see other actions I could have taken. I now understand the true value of my own silence. I used to have something beautiful, but now these memories haunt me.

Trapped within this moment I am incapable of changing the past. I know that I must create new memories, but I cannot reach the joy that I once felt. If the past was forgotten I could believe that such happiness is merely a fantasy. I would no longer compare each joy with the intense emotional pleasure that I have experienced.

The experience of true happiness has changed me, because I have witnessed great possibilities and the routine miracles that make life magical. I am unsure whether the experience has been a blessing or a curse, because now it is only a memory.