I was feeling drawn to the painting 'Autoportrait' (Tamara in the Green Bogatti) by Tamara De Lempicka. I was drawn to the cool aloof characters in Tamara's work. They connected to a part of my character that wanted to be cool and aloof, but I wasn't. I was in love and trying desperately to hide my emotions. I began to paint my own version of Autoportrait; I wanted to capture that energy of bringing everything down to the superficial, where I wasn't in love and I could move on. Painting has never allowed me to hide my emotions. It has only ever forced me to face them head on. All my love and emotion burst through to the surface. I couldn't hide it and the cool aloof character within Tamara's work, was slowly overwhelmed by swirls of pinks and purples. While painting I kept asking myself over and over, 'why can't I just pretend that I don't feel this'. My emotions bled through to the canvas. The love and emotion both wraps around the figure and intersects her form. Tamara De Lempicka once said that all of her portraits were self portraits. In this representation of myself, is love wrapping around my skin or is it separating me into pieces. I'm trying desperately to stay in control. I feel that I own my emotions and I am driving this vehicle. Then I look at the finished piece and I can see that I am not in control. I am set to autopilot and every emotion is breaking through.